GODZILLA: The Clint Eastwood of Kaijus

Finally, an improvement on the 1998 debacle. I give this one 7.5/10.

PS: If you’re looking for massive monster-on-monster action for the entire length of 2 hours, don’t waste your time. You might not like this movie.

This is a worthy successor to the 1954 classic Kaiju movie, although it does have its flaws. The first 45 minutes look forced, at best. The family angle seems overworked, and although the actors do a fine job (you can’t go wrong with Bryan Cranston). Bryan Cranston suffered the loss of his wife early on and in his research, realises that she doesn’t die because of a nuclear plant explosion alone – it was something else entirely.

This whole family business does succeed in doing one thing – keeping you on edge, building anticipation for the arrival of the creature. But it’s not what we’ve really come to see, right?

All right, all right, let’s forget my wife and get on with the story.


And a creature does arrive soon enough – only it’s not really the creature you’re looking for. It’s a Massive Unidentified Terrestrial Object (MUTO), and it’s not even terrestrial – the damn thing flies! This is the point when tension starts building.

Soon enough, we discover ANOTHER one of these MUTOs, and she’s (yes, SHE) looking for a mate. Put 1 and 1 together and you’ve got… DESTRUCTION. These MUTOs, they feast on radiation – and they’re looking for mankind to give it to them.

Honey! Where’s the nuclear bomb with a side of radiation that I’d asked you to bring?

Mankind is now on the brink of extinction… or is it?

Our buddy Godzilla doesn’t think so. Yes people, PLOT TWIST – Godzilla might be mankind’s chance at survival, not extinction. And his first face-off with the flying male MUTO – that’s when you know shit’s about to hit the fan.

Meanwhile, Mommy MUTO is PREGNANT (no surprise there, Sherlock) and she’s looking for some lovely nuclear pasta to feed her kids. Daddy, meanwhile, is fighting the big, bad Godzilla (who’s actually the good guy for us), and she joins him to make it a 3-way SMACKDOWN – just put the background score of The Good, The Bad and the Ugly and you’ve got a Mexican battle royale!

Hey you MUTO chichas… you wanna fight me yeah?

Now, coming to the main event – ATOMIC BREATH! You know, in this regard, Godzilla reminded me of Clint Eastwood. Especially during the last battle with Mommy MUTO, when he’s opened her mouth and is about to finish her off with the big guns, you can almost here him say “I know what you’re thinking, punk – you’re thinking is he finished or does he have anything left in him? Seeing that I have ATOMIC BREATH, which could blast your head clean off, you’ve gotta ask yourself one question – DO I FEEL LUCKY? Well, do ya, PUNK?” AND BOOM! Big, blue atomic breath and Mommy MUTO is, well, muted (Daddy was torn apart a long time ago).

Go ahead… make my day.

The Climax: Just when you think Godzilla’s died a heroic death, he just rises up at the end and lets out a HUGE ROAR, almost as if he’s saying ‘I’ll be back.’

Imma go sleep now, puny humans.

Yes folks, Godzilla is truly the Last Action Hero. And that’s what is so fantastic about this movie – you root for Godzilla, even as you fear him. You might have noticed I’ve barely spoken about the humans – and as I said in the beginning, they’re almost reduced to a sideshow. They help build anticipation for the monsters, but apart from that, nothing much. The human angle was better explored in movies like Jurassic Park and War of the Worlds (examples).

But if you are a Kaiju fan, this is the movie you should watch.


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