Madness is like Gravity

Leave me alone!


I struggled to no avail. They had my hands tied behind the chair I was sitting on. Wait a minute… I was sitting in a WITNESS BOX.




Harvey… my friend Harvey! I was relieved for a moment… and then he turned the other side of his face to me.


Why did it have to be me?
The only way to live in this world is chance...


“His crimes include killing five policemen, destroying public property of Gotham city… and he ruined my life. Well, half of it anyway. How do the defendants plead?”


Again, it was Harvey who spoke. “But your honour, Bruce Wayne is the last of the admired Wayne family. It was their family who brought Gotham back on its feet during the economic crisis. Let us also consider the fact that his parents were murdered at a tender age…”


“YOUR HONOUR… we must not bring emotion into this case. We must realise that Bruce Wayne and Batman are one and the same and the crimes committed by Batman are the crimes committed by BRUCE WAYNE! What do you say members of the jury?”


Very convenient. The League of Shadows as jury members. I’m sure you can guess who the judge was. He let out a hysterical laugh.


“What are you saying my dear Harvey? Bruce Wayne IS Batman? This opens up the case… and I don’t mean in a very nice way, Batman… or wait, should I call you Bruce? HAHAHA!”


I hate it when that clown laughs.


In any case, I was sentenced to death. And all my foes ganged up on me.


“I shall be the executioner, your honour,” said Harvey. Then he picked up his gun and shot me…


I heard the sound of sirens. And someone was vigorously trying to wake me up.


“Mr. Wayne. Don’t you read the papers? Joker and some mystery man are plotting to take your life in WAYNE MANOR!”


That was ANOTHER dream. Was I going mad? Anyway, you have no idea how glad I am to see you, Jim. “Commissioner Gordon! What brings you here?”


“You don’t follow the news, do you Mr. Wayne?”


“I try. But as far as I know, they just want to use the Wayne Manor grounds to make an announcement.”


I got up and walked to the window. What I saw shocked me.


But it was also impressive.


Almost all the cars of the Gotham police force had formed a perimeter around Wayne Manor. “Jeez, Jim, I’m no politician…”


“BUT YOU’RE BRUCE WAYNE!” hollered Gordon. “And around here, as far as I know, he’s bigger than a few god damn politicians.”


I laughed. Then I asked him why someone would want to take MY life.


“This mystery man knows who Batman is. Isn’t that reason enough?”


I felt like an idiot. I know Ra’s AND the Joker are after me. And yet I try to cover it all up with my billionaire persona. Why, I don’t know.


This ‘Batman identity reveal’ should be an interesting event…


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